


Love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears.

by Valsnotebook



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Future Fic, Hurt/Comfort, Mutual Masturbation, Smut, mentions of sansa's past, sansa has nightmares, smut with feelings, there's as much angst as there is smut, tons of feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-10
Updated: 2019-06-10
Packaged: 2020-04-24 00:48:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19162411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Valsnotebook/pseuds/Valsnotebook
Summary: After five years of serving as Hand of the King, Tyrion is sent to reunite with his former wife. She clarifies right away she has no intention of bearing a child, but he's okay with that. He doesn't need to share her bed to be content. They can just be friends.That is, until she asks him to help with a small problem.





	Love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears.

**Author's Note:**

> Quick disclaimer: english is not my first language.

The third time he heard her sighing, while shifting and turning on the mattress, he decided to ask.

“Sansa, are you all right?”

She stiffened at his words; she probably didn’t know he was still awake.

“I’m sorry my lord, I didn’t mean to wake you. I just feel too uncomfortable to fall asleep.”

She was laying on her side now, facing the other way so that he could only stare at her back. Maybe she didn’t need his presence at her side anymore, and was just too polite for her own good.

He sat up, ready to gather his things to go back to his chambers.

 

They had been sleeping in the same bed for almost a month now: Bran had let him go after five years as his hand, saying his services where needed elsewhere. “Sansa needs an heir but she isn’t getting any younger. And neither are you”.

Once arrived in Winterfell, he found out Sansa had no intention of bearing a child. But then, when they were alone, she had added

“We could still be husband and wife, if you’ll have me. There’s no one here that I know from _before_ , no one that truly understands.” She had looked down while speaking her offer, almost afraid of being rejected.

It wasn’t an epic declaration of love, but she was offering companionship and maybe, _maybe_ , even affection. He didn’t have anywhere else to go, nor anyone else to turn to. And to be honest, the prospect of a platonic friendship with Sansa was ten times better than anything he thought he could achieve with his life.

So he had accepted, and then Sansa had also told him that it was okay if he wanted to sleep with other women. “I only ask of you to dine with me, and maybe keep me company a little. Like you used to do...” He had finally realized how truly lonely she must have been. With her people, in her home, but without a family. No one that knew her, or could understand her.

“It would be my honor, your Grace. As for the sleeping arrangements, I’m not the man I used to be anymore.”

 

He had settled in Winterfell and kept his promise. They would dine together, sometimes in his chambers and sometimes in hers, and soon he proved himself useful in helping her running the kingdom. He didn’t interact directly with the people as they had not accepted him as one of their own yet, despite Sansa’s speeches about it, but he didn’t mind working behind the scenes and helping with his knowledge of numbers and politics. His chambers where right next his wife’s, but they never mentioned sharing a bed. And Tyrion was okay with that, was okay with never sleeping with another woman again: he hadn’t been able to, anyway, not after Shae. But he would have been a fool to say that he didn’t have desires, desires that would betray him in his sleep. Sansa had become a woman now, the most beautiful woman he had ever met, and while he would not lure her into bed _(as if he could)_ , he had decided he was going to appreciate her beauty and not feel shame about it.

 

At some point, though, he started to wake up in the middle of the night always to the same sound: Sansa crying out for help and begging for mercy. The first time he had rushed to her chamber, only to find a guard in front of it.

“It’s nightmares. It happens”

“How do you know it’s just a nightmare and she doesn’t actually need help?”

“We’ve established a code, I’ll burst in when I hear certain words. Otherwise, she asked me not to enter and to respect her privacy. You can go back to sleep, my lord”

Tyrion stared at the door: her crying was now muffled, but still audible.

The fifth night in a row that this happened, he decided enough was enough. How could he sleep when his wife was clearly in pain?

That night Sansa’s screams were louder, and she sounded more afraid than ever.

“Let me in.” He had told the guard.

“But Her Grace...”

“Is my wife, and she is clearly in distress. Let me in now.”

The guard had given him a dirty look, before letting him pass. Tyrion made his way to her bed, and found her still asleep, trembling in her bed with tears on her face.

“Sansa. Sansa!”

She didn’t seem to hear him, nor did she wake up. He wasn’t tall enough to shake her without climbing into her bed first. He tried calling for her name a few more times before he decided he’d prefer having her mad at himself rather than trapped in her nightmares. So he climbed onto her bed and gently put his hands on her shoulders, with the intention of shaking her awake. But as soon as he touched her, her eyes flew open and she looked at him for a brief moment. Her eyes were red, her face was wet from tears and terror was written all over her features.

He didn’t have time to say anything before she slapped his face so hard, he fell on the mattress. As he felt her kicking him from under the covers, he managed to say “Tyrion! I’m Tyrion!” a couple of times before she finally stopped.

“Tyrion?” Her voice was hoarse from all the screaming, and he felt the mattress moving as she sat up. He was at the end of the bed, and didn’t dare look at her as he wasn’t sure what the next move should be. Was she going to scream at him? He basically got in her chambers and onto her bed without any invitation. Nice way to gain her trust.

He tried to keep a steady breath and not let himself panic, his face still aching.

“Tyrion, my Gods, have I hurt you? Tyrion look at me.”

He raised his head at that, and turned to her: he could now see her loose hair, her nightgown, and her face, on her face there wasn’t fright anymore, but concern.

She looked like she was slowly coming to her senses, as she asked once more.

“Have I hurt you my lord? Please, answer me honestly.”

“Of course not, my-”

“Come here, let me see.”

He slowly climbed the bed until he was in front of her, and his breath stopped when she took his face in her hand. Even with only the moonlight coming through the window, she could probably see the red where she had slapped him, as he could still feel his cheek burning. He wasn’t sure if it was because of the pain or because of the hand gently caressing his face, though.

“My lord, I’m so sorry, I never meant...” and she went back to being terrified. She took her hands off him and looked around, tears streaming down her face again.

“Please, I swear I didn’t mean to. I will never do that again, please.” And Tyrion almost felt sick at the sound of her begging him for mercy, just like she had been doing a few minutes ago in her sleep. The panic on her face finally triggered him to do something about it.

“Sansa, you didn’t hurt me.” But she was back in her world now, awake but like she wasn’t hearing him. So he gently took her hands into his and held them until he got her attention again.

“Stop apologizing and listen to me.” That, surprisingly, made her stop and now her eyes were on him.

He took a deep breath, not wanting to ruin it once more.

“Listen to me; you were having a nightmare and you were screaming, that’s why I woke you up. I couldn’t bear to hear you suffer anymore. That is why I am in your room and in your bed. I didn’t want you to hurt. So whatever you were dreaming about before, know that it’s not real and it’s not me. You are safe and you can kick me off the bed as much as you like if that means you will wake up, okay? Because I’m your husband and I don’t want you to cry anymore.”

She stared at him, stunned, until she stopped sobbing and her breathing became regular again. She looked around once more, as if to assess the situation, then back at Tyrion and their hands entangled together.

“You’re right. You’re right, I overreacted, I’m sorry”

“Stop apologizing.”

“Yes, sor-” He raised his eyebrows and she stopped in time, before smiling at him.

“I guess what I should be saying is… thank you. Thank you for waking me up. It felt like there was no way out this time.”

He only nodded at that, not sure he was still able to talk now that the emergency was over and he was suddenly extremely aware of how close they were. So he decided to smile at her and bring her hands to his lips, before letting go of her and turning to get off the bed. He stopped, though, when he heard her whisper.

“Could you.. stay with me?”.

 

 

And so from that day, they started to sleep in the same bed. They would never touch, not even on accident, but they soon both found comfort in each other’s presence and were able to sleep better.

Tyrion couldn’t believe his luck. 

But now she had probably already grew tired of him, and he tried not to be too disappointed at that: it had been too good to be true anyway, and he knew he couldn’t ask for more.

“What are you doing?”

“Going back to my chambers, so that you can feel more comfortable.”

“No, don’t go. I mean, if you want to then yes of course, but I don’t think that’s it.”

_It’s not?_

She had now turned to him, a hand on his arm, and he decided to indulge himself with a good look at her. Her hair was all over her pillow, her cheeks were flushed, her eyes looked darker than usual. Her nightgown was revealing her collarbone, and he noticed her legs were shifting against each other under the covers.

_Wait a second…_

“Then what is wrong, my lady” he asked, hoping, _praying_ it wasn’t what he thought it was.

He wasn’t sure he’d be able to make it out alive.

“I don’t know how to explain it, it happens sometimes and I just don’t know what to do”

“Maybe I” - _oh Gods_ \- “maybe I could help you if you tried to explain it to me.”

“It’s just… sometimes I have all these feelings and don’t know how to handle them, and before I know it… oh what is wrong with me!” Her face was hidden behind her hands now and by then he was sure what she was talking about, but didn’t know how to approach it. Had she really never pleasured herself? Maybe she didn’t know? Maybe she didn’t want to?

“I’m sure nothing is wrong with you” He tried, not sure what he was going to do.

“Oh believe me, something is, or I wouldn’t just wet myself like a child!”

At that, Tyrion was sure his heart skipped a beat.

 _This is it, this is how it ends._ He didn’t mind it, he was dying in the company of the most beautiful woman after all.

There was an awkward silence after that, Sansa was probably still feeling ashamed of her revelation, while Tyrion’s mind was doing anything possible to decide which step he should take, but mostly trying to not let the blood run in some other places.

“Sansa, what you’re experiencing is completely normal.”

“Normal?!” He sighed, collecting his thoughts once more. _One step at the time_.

“Yes, you know how men sometimes...” _somebody help me_ “they, I mean, we… get hard? If you know what I mean.” He could hear the tone of his voice going lower and lower, but couldn’t do anything about it.

She nodded, a stern look on her face now.

“Well, women tend to… get wet. There.”

_Here you go. You did perfectly and you’re still alive. And she definitely didn’t shift her legs just now._

Sansa contemplated his words a few seconds, before understanding dawned on her face.

“I see” was all she said before another long silence. Tyrion thought that was the end of the conversation and was about to go back to sleep (or at least, fake it), when he heard Sansa again.

“And how can I stop it.”

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath at that. Of course, it was not going to be that simple.

_How can any of this be real._

“You’ve never… pleasured yourself, my lady?”

She looked at him like he was talking nonsense, and at that Tyrion was able to get out of his own mind and lust and focus on what he just discovered. Sansa had never known she could find pleasure, like men could. She probably believed men to be monsters like Bolton used to be.

Well, maybe she knew they were not all like him, but she was looking at him like what he had just said was absurd.

“Well, you see, women...”

“Will you show me?”

 _I_ _see now, I_ _’m_ _dead_ _and I’m in hell_ _._  
He wasn’t completely hard yet and he didn’t know how, but he knew that wasn’t going to last for long.

“I don’t think that’s appropriate...”

“You’re my husband, who else should I ask.”

Tyrion didn’t answer at that and just looked at her, looked at her beautiful lines and her beautiful face and wondered whether this was, in fact, a dream.

“ _Please._ ” That word did it. That word made him realize he wasn’t as strong as he thought he was, and if he was going to pay for this, then he would gladly accept whatever punishment would come his way.

He took her hand in his.

“I will show you only if you tell me to stop as soon as you’re not comfortable anymore.” She maintained eye contact and nodded. She looked nervous, but not enough to make him worry.

So he held her hand and moved it to her body. He accompanied her hand so that she was now caressing her sides, while he wasn’t directly touching her body if not for her hand and wrist.

This simple contact made Sansa’s breath quicken.

She raised her gown with her other hand without being told to and Tyrion was glad because he didn’t think he could speak right now. He slowly brought her hand on her thighs and then between her legs after she spread them a little. He was now fully erect, painfully so, and that if he wasn’t careful he was going to come untouched. When he put her hand directly between her folds, Sansa suppressed a moan. He couldn’t feel how wet she was, but he could feel the heat coming off from her and he could smell her arousal. He placed her hand there and left it, not sure he could keep his cool for long. “You just… touch yourself. Like that.”

She nodded, and started experimenting, and for a time he thought was endless he couldn’t help but stare at her; stare at the way he hand was moving under the covers, stare at her beautiful face, filled with pleasure and lust, stare at her chest, her soft breasts covered by her nightgown. He stared at her and had no strength left to feel guilty about it.

She started to pant, and against everything he thought was possible, she said “Could you… I don’t… I - I… could you do it? Do you know?”

He looked at her and saw she meant it.

“Of course” he whispered, and kissed her shoulder. He didn’t dare kiss her more, since it was supposed to be about her.

His hand joined hers, and he almost came when he felt how wet and warm she was. It didn’t take long before he found the small bundle of nerves, and started drawing circles around it.

Sansa was deliberately moaning now and he was sure that if a heaven existed then this is what it must feel like to live in it. He sped up his pace according to Sansa’s breathless request, as she was now losing control on her hips as well.

When she came, she pressed her hand right onto his and squeezed her thighs, and he thought nothing that ever happened in his life could match this moment.

She then started to come down from the high, her chest moving more regularly and a blissful smile on her face. A smile he wished with all of his heart he could kiss. He slowly retired his hand from her legs, her pleasure still on it, the smell stronger than ever.

And now that his quest was accomplished, he was once more aware of his own pain, a need he hadn’t had this strongly in ages. But he couldn’t take himself in the hand right there next to her, not after all they’ve been through to build the trust in each other.

She hadn’t spoken much about her time with the bastard of the Boltons, but he was sure she never wanted to see another man that way anymore.

Even more so, not a deformed one.

He took a deep breath, hoping he could manage to calm himself without hurting her feelings, but that only got her attention.

She turned to him and saw he was in distress, and quickly found out why. Her face immediately turned serious, with a hint of determination in it. Her eyes glued to his crotch, she started moving and before he could understand what was happening, she crawled in front of him. She pulled her hair back and lowered her face, while her hands quickly undid his trousers, revealing his manhood completely erect. It all happened faster than his brain could process, and now her mouth was dangerously near his erection. She stopped for a second, and that moment of hesitation allowed him to finally wake up from his state of trance.

“Sansa” he said, his voice now almost a growl. She looked up and he saw fear in her eyes.

_Nononono_

“Sansa, what are you doing?”

“I want… I want to repay you, my lord.”

 _Repay, my lord_.

“Repay me?” He said, trying not to scream out of anger.

“I really want to please you. Let me.” She spoke those words like she meant them, but at the same time she was petrified.

“Come here, now.” He said, a bit harsher than he intended; she sat on her knees and then crawled back to her place, lying at the same level as he.

“I thought it was clear… Sansa, I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to do.”

“But I want to, my-”

“If you call me ‘my lord’ one more time I’m walking out of here.” He spat.

He was on the verge of tears; this wasn’t supposed to happen, she wasn’t supposed to treat him like she owed him something, like he was like the others. He had come to peace with the fact he’d never share bed with her, but he was going to be at least the best friend she could possibly have.

But this wasn’t the way, and she was treating him like he owned her and now she was visibly hurt, because of course he couldn’t help but snap at her.

“Why were you going to do something we both know you think disgusting.”

“Because I know it would please you, and I know I prefer it to the other way.”

“What way?”

“The way that gets me pregnant.”

“Sansa, listen. I didn’t… help you, so that you could repay the favor. I just wanted to see you serene. The way you smiled after… that was the world for me, do you understand? I can’t believe you would think I expected you to...”

“I think you’re the one who doesn’t understand, _Tyrion_. I want to please you, I want you to feel what I just felt. I want that for you. How else can I say this? I want to, and I was trying to even if my body reacted differently. Don’t you understand?”

He stared at her, speechless. There was no fear on her face, only determination in winning this argument.

“All right, all right. But still, there’s no need to do _that._ If you wish, I can show you how I usually do it for myself. Is that okay?”

She nodded, unsure.

So he brought his hand on his cock, the hand that still smelled like Sansa, and was careful not to spill right away. He stroked himself a couple of times, before he heard Sansa clear her throat. 

“I think… maybe I could do that, if you’ll let me.”  
The was no more nervousness on her look, only interest and maybe a hint of lust, or maybe he was just projecting. But since he was a weak, little man, that was enough for him to nod, and he held her hand as she stroke him. It took everything he had to last as long as possible: he wanted to enjoy this, he wanted to enjoy the soft touch of Sansa’s, the way their shoulders were touching now, her breath dangerously near his neck. He closed his eyes, taking it all in, and when he felt the curve of her breasts pressed on his shoulders, he came. He came with a silent cry, as he gripped Sansa’s thigh with his free hand.

After that, he blacked out.

 

 

He came to his senses when he felt something warm on his abdomen, and when he opened his eyes he found Sansa standing next to him, pressing a wet cloth to clean him, her eyes attentive and a relaxed smile on her face. When she finished, she went to put the cloth back in the basin.

He watched as she made her way back to their bed; she was radiant, she looked like a goddess and when he looked down at himself, he remembered how much he didn’t deserve any of this. He was old, he was ugly and he had done things, unforgivable things. Things other people had to pay for, people that were now dead, while he was enjoying Sansa’s company.

And Sansa, Sansa had just treated him like he was worth it. She had just cleaned him, for fucks sake. He didn’t think he had ever received an act of such kindness. This thought alone, the thought of Sansa being this kind to him made him shed a couple of tears, unable to control them and hoping she wouldn’t notice in the dark.

She did though, and sat on the bed right next to him, taking his face in her hands.

“What’s wrong?”

“I don’t deserve this. Any of this”

“ You do”  
“Sansa, look at me. I’m just an halfman, both in stature and in value. You need someone that matches your grace, your beauty and your goodness. I’m not that man, I can never be.”

“Tyrion, when I look at you all I can see is the man with the purest heart I know.”

“You don’t know what I’ve done...”

“I don’t care”

“You should”

“Well, I don’t. I know you, and that's enough to me”

He didn’t know what else to say at that. Her hands were still on him when she slowly pressed her lips on his cheek, right where a tear was falling down.

He closed his eyes. “Thank you” he whispered, taking one of her hands into his. She smiled, and then she pressed her lips against his.

Just like that, she washed away all of his sins and for the first time in his life, Tyrion dared to hope for happiness.

He took her in his arms and they fell asleep, holding onto each other.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I have enjoyed writing it. Please let me know what you thought of it, the good and the bad. Any kind of feedback.   
> As I said english is not my first language, so if you think I should fix something please tell me. 
> 
> PS: who else is avoiding studying for exams?


End file.
